If only I had known better… If only I had had an opportunity, if only I had taken that chance… Sounds familiar?
Being an “If only-er” is very common in our society, there’s a bunch of people that are walking on the streets right now thinking about all the things they don’t have, couldn’t have, can’t have or won’t have (No time restrictions), and you can be one yourself… Being an “If only-er” myself, I have realized with time, that what didn’t happen either because of my insecurities or because of fate, wasn’t meant to be, or at least, it just didn’t happen. Period.
There’s no crying over the spilt milk anymore in my life. I wasted so many hours, days and even years crying for what wasn’t, that I forgot about the things that DID happen or those I could do something about at the moment. Applies exactly the same for the future. I, now, do whatever I can to make things happen but if I can’t make them happen, I just find something else I can.
If you are an “If only-er” (or if you ever have an episode of “If Only-ness”) here’s how to get rid of that train of thought:
- Stop. Breathe deeply
- Think: Is this something I can do anything about? If yes, breath again, put on your grown-up pants and do it. Even if it hurts. If no, lace up your I-better-get-the-hell-outta-here shoes and go look for another dream, goal, or idea.
- Think: Am I aware of all the blessings, dreams, things, goals, ideas I have actually achieved in life? If no, then do it, make a list (write them down, as written stuff hits us deeper), if yes, then make a list and pray a small grateful prayer for all the things you have.
- With that list you created above, you’re not only going to be grateful about, but you will analyze what you did to achieve all that. If some of those things you did nothing to get them and God gave them to you, then keep on praying. If —with God’s help— you worked your butt off for acheiving them, then go ahead and do the same this time and go conquer the world, baby!
Everything has a solution. Even if sometimes the solution is stop crying about it. Even if the solution involves ripping your heart out and make yourself focus on something else… Because you know what? The world is full of people that are buried alive, buried under their If-onlys, buried under their unaccomplished dreams and mourning losses, and they won’t ever see the bright future that awaits… Don’t ever be one of them…